Not properly dead

(non church-ppl may find this rather baffling!)

I remember once considering the notion of attending my own funeral (spiritually speaking), this came after reading Galatians 2 v 20 (I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I that lives but Christ lives in me). On reading this, it became soul-food, and an instant aspiration... I was (and still am) desperate to get to that place where Galatians 2v20 is REAL in me. So i started considering planning, and then attending my own funeral. After a while, i encountered a problem.

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I was not actually dead.

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It is not possible (in good conscience) to bury somebody that is still living and breathing. So I had to plot my demise! and bwoi, there was quite a lot of killing to do. I started with the easiest. (every gamer knows you merk the little guys first, and sort out the boss once you have got to grips with the controls). So I managed to kill a few small foes just with plain and simple effort, and a quick blow to the head. After a while my growing desire to die, strengthed me in the killing spree and enabled me to defeat even stronger soldiers. However to ensure that i was properly dead, I needed to make sure that there was no escape, not like in them films where you think the baddy is dead, but then when your back is turned, he sits back up and shoots you in the back of the head. No. I must NOT be able to sit back up!

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Going back to the scripture, I realised crucifixion is the only way. After all, I am a follower of Jesus, and therefore i gotta go wherever HE WENT, and he went to the cross.

Now, have you ever tried crucifying yourself?

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Believe me, it is not easy. I mean, it is simple enough (although bloody and painful) to bash the 10" nail through your feet. It is even possible (although with some difficulty) to nail 1 of your hands to the cross, having to hold the nail in place with the very hand being crucified.

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However, once 2/3rds crucified you come to the realisation that you are now totally unable to get the 3rd nail in. You have no available limbs left. It is not possible to crucify your 1 free hand, with that same 1 free hand. No.

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At this point, it struck me. I had been doing the whole thing wrong from the beginning. I cannot singlehandedly crucify the flesh... the practicalities of working it out had taught me this the hard way, but common sence and clear spiritual insight should have lead me from the beginning, to ask The Holy Spirit to do it IN me, FOR me and THROUGH me!

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We do not wrestle against flesh and blood..... well, we DO... all the time, but wrestling the flesh does NOT bring the victory, as the power was never in the flesh, it was in the SIN itself, and I cannot conquer sin fully, that is (was) Jesus job!.

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I now realise that it is not about ME TRYING to die. It is about me asking the Holy Spirit to assist me in my dying, and to give me clear sight of the Hope and Life the other side of the funeral

I am good

It has been several years now that I have laid hold of the doctrine of sin... and the knowledge that there is NO GOOD MAN, and beyond that, that there is no good IN man either!. There is nothing I can do, in the flesh that is good (Gods sort of good, though man may call my actions 'good'). Therefore imagine how i felt, after months of being told by the fella in the pic below that i am 'above average' with a fitness score of 42-46 (what, i dont know)... yesterday, for the first time, i acheved a score of 50! following which... came the anouncement that I AM GOOD!

A Taste of Africa

This saturday, we held an event at church, in aid of The Samaritans Purse called 'A Taste of Africa'. It was a resounding success, with up to 100 in attendance (a real acheivement for a church of 30-40).

I must admit, in some ways i did feel out of my depth cooking things i had never attempted to cook before (giant snails, goats feet, and pepper soup). But apparently my pepper soup was banging! Thanks to all who attended, performed, and cooked for the event.

Rev Gaga

The pop music industry is one of the biggest enemies of the Gospel of Jesus, and revelations about Jay-Z, Rihanna and Beyonce have angered me for the last few years trusay. But now steps forward this candidate..

Lady Gaga!... Recently quoted as stating that her ambition is to bring homosexual culture to the mainstream, and to 'turn the world gay'. She is now being ordained as a minister, so that she will be able to conduct gay weddings live on stage during her concerts...

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Satan is truly roaring! truly seeking whom he may devour! How have these perversions become so popular and fashionable?

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Even so, COME LORD, and come quickly.

Scary Wildlife

On my way home from work yesterday i decided to pop into the scrubland area on Five Oaks Lane in Chigwell, to see if there were any of these...

..Whinchats, however i was stunned to walk round a large oak tree and be faced with this...
He was HUGE, horse sized, with massive antlers. He was less than 15m away from me, and stared me out. I was not sure whether to try and get closer to photograph him on the mobile, or RUN!...
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In the end, i backed away slowly!. It is a strange thing to be scared of a deer isn't it?
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by the way, there WERE Whinchats. (3 of em).
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Its funny how our reactions surprise us sometimes, I didnt think i would feel fear when faced with a STATIONARY deer... slightly less justified than the fear I felt when a similar sized deer came bounding towards me and Jonathan in the dark up a country lane on Mull (Scotland) last year.... It cleared the car by an inch... That fear was really intense... (a life flash b4 eyes moment), and this was a bit of a flashback moment...

Enlisted?

Church was HARD this sunday. Pastor Roger took a break out from the series on the armour, to look at the topic 'are you FIT to be in the army of the Lord?'. We considered that being saved, although guarenteeing your place in glory, is not enough to guarentee that you are enlisted in the army of the lord, and useful in battle here on earth!. A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways and all that, and if you are gonna fight on the Lords side, we first have to leave the other side entirely... (No-one looking back etc). We concluded, that although there must be some faithful soldiers out there somewhere, we could only name dead ones... None of us could think of a single candidate who is out there fighting the fight, waving the banner of Jesus and causing havoc to the enemies camp here in the UK. This was a real challenge, we KNOW that that is what we are called to therefore we MUST throw of doublemindedness, self-seeking, and cowardice, and prepare for battle.

Slipped 3

A visit to Stans Gym last night proved disappointing as although i was still 'above average' I only got a score of 42 on the treadmill (compared to 45 last week). This must NOT happen again!. (At least I beat Jer'van, with an 'average' score of 40!)

Sweden Report

Me and Jonathan came back from Sweden glowing (but shattered). It was a wonderful 2 days, we saw nearly 110 species of bird, many of which we had never seen before. The company was excellent too. If you wanna spend 2 amazing days watching 100s of raptors... I recommend you visit http://www.swallowbirding.co.uk/ and book on next years trip. You will NOT be sorry! So now, lets get to boasting... (all pics were taken by our tour leader, Steve)

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Lesser Spotted Eagle (a real rarity in Sweden)

also, 50+ Red Kite and a Black Kite, 3 White Tailed Eagle, and 4 Osprey (including one fishing)... oh, and up to 300 of these...
Sparrowhawks! - the sky was filled with em. We also saw Sparrowhawks dashing through flocks of 100s of Yellow Wagtails. (Jonathan also saw a Goshawk, but did not share it!)... We also saw a few Hobbies, lots of Kestrels, hundreds of Buzzards including 10 of these...

...Honey Buzzards! We also saw 1 Buzzard carrying a snake or Slow Worm... and around 40 Marssh Harriers The highlight was probably this amazing juvenlie Montagues Harrier that flew up close for a good length of time.

Other hightlights included: 21 White Stork, 3 parties of Crane, a few Eider, pair of Red Brested Merganser, up to 50 Goldeneye, 50+ Ruff, 2 Red Necked Pharalope, 2 Spotted Redshank, Knot, Grey Plover, Little Tern, 20+ Sandwich Tern, 30 Barnacle Geese, Cuckoo, 2 Red Backed Shrike, 50+ Spotted Flycatcher, 20+ Pied Flycatcher, 20+ Redstart, 40+ Whinchat, 5 Wheatear, several hundred Tree Pipit, up to 1000 Yellow Wagtail, c50 Crossbill, 100s of Siskin, a pair of Marsh Tit, Icterine Warbler, Wood Warbler, and we heard Black Woodpecker and Wryneck. And not a Feral Pigeon in sight! Other than ticking birds, we also saw...

4 of these Fallow Deer, a few Roe Deer, 6 Hares, a few sightings of Red Squirrel including a very small baby one.

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Group pic time... (The food was great by the way, but no meatballs)

Popping Home

Me and Jonathan (godson), are off to Sweden for a couple of days. Being an 'Erickson' this could be considered 'going home', although the exact extent of my Swedish heritage is open for debate. (as far as I know my grandfather was Swedish, although as He did not speak Swedish I cannot verify this). One theory I heard on the family grapevine, (years ago) is that he was born in Sweden but adopted by a family in England when he was 18 months old... plausable, but if that was the case, he wouldnt have had a Swedish surname surely?

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Anyway, whether or not it is 'home' to me... it is certainly home to a lot of Honey Buzzards, of which I am hoping to see at least one!
It is also home to these scrumptuous little fellaz, of whom I am hoping to eat far more than one.

I will let you know how I do on both accounts.

I Ache

Today I ache, seriously ache.... It is my own fault becuase last night me and Jer'van went to the gym, and I pushed myself too hard. It was not this guy...

...no, this guy is my new best friend. After a massive 5 minute fitness test on this fella, I scored a fitness level of 45 (my highest yet)... I dunno what it is out of, neither do I know '45 what?' but still, that is all irrelevant coz after telling you your score he goes a lil further... and anounces that I am 'above average' ... anyway back to 'I ache'... it is all becuase of this guy...
This wasteman has it in for me for some reason. Trusay, I did feel pumped, and the reflection in the mirror is certainly leaner and more toned than the guy that used to stare back at me a few months ago, but why... the following day... do I ache, and feel so weak I could hardly do up the buttons on my shirt!
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On the way home Jer'van and I decided to re-fuel, and we were certainly both 'above average' at the Toby Carvary in Buckhurst Hill.

anywayz...while 'tutting' at my aching body, the Holy Spirit reminded me of that scripture in Timothy where it says 'For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.'

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I wonder when was the last time you engaged in such faith-filled prayer that you could still feel the effect of it the following day. Yes, my body aches, becuase it is part of the process needed to get in shape. My spirit too 'groans' as it is being 'worked out'... God has shown me glimpses of my future in Him, the fulfilment of the vision He has given us for the church, for revival, for healing, for salvation, for homecoming... and until I see all of this fulfilled, I need to work out until I ache!

The Butterfly Effect

Yesterday, our visiting preacher at Church (Pastor Roy McGowan), brought us a challenging Word from the Lord on Romans 12 v 2, which says "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God".

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We were challenged NOT to let the world make us like IT, but that we should let the Spirit of God make us like HIM!!!

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The analogy that was presented to us was of a caterpillar: fat, ugly, and causing destruction wherever his chubby butt can wriggle to...

After causing havoc and nyamming all your cabbage leaves, he goes into a cacoon, where a total transformation takes place. Within that cacoon, the old self 'dies', and the new creature is totally un-recognisable becuase of its beauty!. This is our 'being conformed to HIS death'... leaving the past utterly behind us, and allowing the Spirit of God to make us a new creation, (remember that ol hymn ... #To the uttermost He saves#).

However, due to our stubborness and refusal to give God total access to our lives, we often appear like this...

...a mixture of old and new. Saved, but still dragging that old carcas of sin around, and sometimes even going as far as wearing it with pride. This really is ridiculous of us: To be set free from the consequence of sin, but still to revel in it?... when His purpose for our life is to beautify us, and to make us productive, attractive and fruitful.. just like the finished article.
The scariest quote that comes to mind from the powerful Word that Pastor Roy shared with us, was the reminder that (as it says in Proverbs 23v7): "As a man thinketh in His heart, so is he". Whatever is going on in my mind, is a summery of who I am... If all I am thinking about or planning etc. is sinful or self-seeking... I should question 'who is on the throne of my life?'

Our Caterpillar status is easily exposed to us by the way we respond to our thought life... Surely a butterfly would quickly reject the notions or attractions of caterpillar-style living, preferring to flutter!.

We have been given access to the budlia and even to the skies! Why the 'hell', do we still prefer to jam with the greenfly nyamming lettuce?

Going Ape

Took the day off work today, so that me and Anna (my sister) could finally take Lily (my neice) out for her 10th birthday treat to...

Yes, you did hear me right, this was to celebrate Lily's 10th birthday, which is a lil embarrasing seeing as she is nearly 12 years old, but that is how long it took us to organise it! Well, I say organise... we hadn't actually booked a place, but drove the 2 hours down to Leeds Castle in Kent in the hope that they could 'squeeze 5 of us in', (2 of Lilys school friends came along). Thankfully, they could squeeze us in, (but we had to wait for 3 hours). That left us with 3 hours to kill.

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The prospect of PAYING to look around the grounds of Leeds castle did not attract me, nor Anna, but the prospect of looking around a (well priced) gift shop DID attract Anna. This enabled us to 'sneak' into the grounds through the back door, avoiding the entrance fee. (Anna did buy a Spoon though). This behaivour is not something I would endorse, but I was not expecting it to be worth actual MONEY!.

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It was tho... we enjoyed looking at the bizarre Black Swans

fed expensive (90p) Pork and Apple flavoured Tyrell crisps to a Peacock (by hand),

Then we made our way over to a MAZE made of hedges that were taller than us (similar to the one below), After 2 mins, Anna was heard saying 'This is easy, there are not enough options of where to go'... After 10 mins, we were heard saying 'i think we've been this way before'... after 20 mins we suddenly realised that not only had we failed to find the grotto in the middle, but we had also failed to ever pass the entrance again.... and were now in a desperate panic to get back to GO APE on time.


Which we did!. Now this was the 8th time I have done this, so I was determined to be better at it than everybody else!. I could give you the 45 min safety brief by heart, it has become a bit blah blah blah to me..

The below pic is the one crossing (of 40) that I hate, It is not normal for adults to be seen crawling! I accomplished the whole 'standing on my feet thing' like 33 1/2 years ago, and I do not like to be asked to get back on all fours for any reason.

The course took us 3 hours and 30 mins, (longer than ever before, yay, a record!)
On the way back home I was impressed to find out that one of Lilys friends (Suad), who is a Muslim, was fasting all day, although neither Anna or I had noticed that she had not eaten any of the food we had given her! how attentive are we!. She did order Macdonalds on the way home to eat after 8.30pm when she came clean about the whole fasting thing. Very Impressive, at 11 years old to be so dedicated.. Why dont Christians step up like this eh?
I had my predictable 'Deli of the Day' (Chicken Salad), and Mozerella Dippers, which taught me a lesson in humanity. My sister wanted to have one. To which I obliged with hidden reluctance: Obliged, becuase I am a sharing, giving person, who knew the right thing to do... reluctance, becuase there are only 3 in a bag in the first place. (Still, SHE paid!)
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We sang some gospel songs on the way home and gave thanks for a wonderful day. I was not at all convicted about sneaking in to Leeds Castle without paying, and I'm left wondering if this is becuase it didnt matter, or am I un-convictable about theft? Surely this is theft? So, surely it DOES matter?

Oh, forgot to mention, We saw an Eel, in a brook and I felt quite proud that a group of people gathered round to look at it following my anouncement 'Oo, an Eel'. That made up for how SMALL I felt when I had backed out of jumping OVER the brook, incase I fell in. It was only about 2 1/2 metres wide, but I couldnt be sure (wearing jeans), that I would make it. Anna was having the same predicament. This went on until a Chinese tourist jumped it infront of us, with ease, in flipflops! Flip flops I tell you!. This meant that I now HAD to do it, (sinful nature - pride), This I accomplished with the same ease!... Anna, not so much... she scratched her leg, with her other leg, (I'm not sure... ask her)